Strange Complaints

As time goes by I’m growing more and more convinced that my youngest dog is a weirdo. I say this, of course, knowing fully that every dog is a weirdo in some way.

Mine is weirder than that.

Most dogs for instance dig holes in their yard, right? At the moment Lulu currently has at least five holes in our yard that are large enough to shove her entire head into. Each one of those holes happens to either be right beside and slightly under either a giant flower pot or a thick rubber horse may.

The mats are placed near gates so that when the rainy season arrives and my back yard turns into a swamp for two months at a time you can still pass through.

At the moment there is no mud, only dust.

Anyways, Lulu has gone to each of these mats and shoveled out a head sized hole under the corner of the mats or pots.. with her face.

At some point you’d think she’d figure out her paws had claws and could help her out but apparently nothing beats the old face shovel.

At this point you’re thinking “What’s weird about that, Michael?”

What’s weird is that now that these holes exist she.. harvests them? Multiple times a day she will check every hole by shoving her way under the mat and wedging her entire head into the slightly cooler earth below until she emerges with her prize.

A small frog.

Apparently the small frogs find these holes she’s dug and think it’s a lovely place to hide away from the scalding sun during this insane heat wave we’ve been dealing with.

They didn’t realize that my dog dig these safe little dens so that she could rub them daily like my grandfather checking his trout lines.

MY DOG IS A FISHERMAN OF FROGS, PEOPLE.

Or if you prefer she’s a farmer who plowed the earth in hopes of sowing an amphibian bounty come harvest season and she’s had a fairly bumper crop

My yard is yellow and dead and there is so way that there should be small baby frogs at all much less enough for her to average one or two an afternoon.. but every night i have a fat dog tossing them in the air where i see little legs pinwheeling around.

Eventually the frogs die and she throws herself on them upside down so that she can celebrate her great good fortune by rubbing the dead frog stuck into her gigantic butt.

I just.. WHAT DO I DO WITH THAT?

I can’t fuss her because to be honest I’m impressed with the whole situation but mannnnnn I’m positive that my dog came with a loose wire in that shovel head.