Strange Complaints

Health insurance is a scam.

Health insurance is a blessing.

Both are true.

Some months ago my cardiologist wanted to put me on medication that my insurance doesn’t cover. Rather, it covers it only if there’s a really really good reason for it but not really.

When I mentioned that this medication wasn’t covered by my insurance my doctor said that they were used to that and that if I gave them the time to properly document it then the insurance shouldn’t be a problem.

Obviously this doctor has never dealt with UMR.

Sure enough the insurance told them what I said it would and I was told that this is where preparation and documentation would work in my favor, oh patient of little faith.

They were going to appeal the denial and “as is often the case in these situations” that documentation will tip the scales on approval in nearly all the times they’ve tried.

I mean, really. Has this doctor even heard of UMR?

Weeks go by and then turn into months and every now and then I’d get a message on the patient portal that “we should have a definitive answer tomorrow” and then tomorrow goes by and it’s a new week and a new message again,

“I will know tomorrow, Mr. Jones.”

“I knew months ago, Doctor.”

I, you see, had dealt with UMR before.

As I knew it would, despite my foolish decision to have hope based on the doctor’s naive optimism, the medication in question was roundly and completely denied.

I’d like to imagine that the little coroner from the Wizard of Oz danced around while UMR relayed that to the doctor all while humming about this patient’s chances for this medication being certifiably and reliably dead.

Of course, this has just shaken the optimism a fraction in my cardiologist as they’re going to try the next-best medication compared to that original and asked if I wanted some samples?

They are so positive this time that they’re offering samples. Samples that will probably work wonderfully and will eventually run out just at the moment when the Wicked Witch of the UMR flies over my house on a broom and writes “Surrender…” in smoke as part of their denial process.

I hate health insurance.

Granted, I also love health insurance as they were wonderful and never denied anything regarding my wife’s health scare a few years ago. In fact, they rarely deny anything for her…

It’s personal isn’t it?

Figures..